The movie opens with two men staring into telescope, the younger man immediately realizes that the mysterious thing he had just announced seeing must have just been light on the lens, and the credits roll. The fumes from the fake beard glue coming off the older man must have overpowered him. A UFO shaped like drill then descends into the desert on a string, and things start to get real. A dog gets vaporized, martians assess the surface, and they bring out the gorgon, which we can only assume is alien for lobster, because that’s what it is. The monster is a lobster, in a cage, with bars. Did we mention it howls?

AUGAUAUAUAUAUUU

Derek, our angular, robot voiced protagonist, protests and turns traitor. He escapes into a small town where he befriends a teenage girl named Betty who, despite his robot voice and insurmountable stiffness, decides that Derek seems like the kind of guy she can force to move in with her, and convinces him to come inside, rent her older brother’s vacant room, and wear his old clothes. Just as Derek is about to get into a pool with Betty and her blond friend, he drops the tag he picked up off the dog’s remains, and Betty demands he show her where he found it. They find what’s left of the dog, and Betty decides that this is the place and time to hit on him, expressing how close she feels they are after the 20-30 minutes that they have known each other. A game of cat and mouse then begins as Thor, another alien, tries to hunt Derek down. Several police officers are vaporized, delicate ladies are imperiled, and Thor gets shot in the arm twice. Derek and Betty run around for a bit more and make out by the gorgon’s lair. The gorgon waits politely for them to stop, attacks, then lets them escape.

Lobster slap!

They spend the rest of the movie preparing for, and fighting, the lobster. The last minute and features Derek, floating in the sky, having given up his life to save earth from giant screaming lobsters everywhere.

It was sweet of him, really.

In the end…

6 people and 1 dog dead by bone stripping laser gun,

3 slapped to death by gigantic shreiking lobster.

Would I recommend it?

Watch it with witty friends.

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